Dads are a rare breed.
They manage to be so embarrassingly uncool when they hit peak dad that they somehow end up turning it all round to being cool again.
As the great saying goes, ‘Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad’
So with Father’s Day coming up on June 19th, let’s celebrate dads in all their weird, wonderful dad-ness!
We thought we’d go full David Attenborough with 10 reasons why dads are the coolest, strangest, and nerdiest creatures you know:
- The dad can often be found in his natural habitat, otherwise known as the living room or ‘the man cave’.
There he sits scratching, grunting, and shouting at Jenson Button on the Formula One racing. His territory is hard to miss thanks to the derrière print engraved within the sofa. Despite being possessive over his territory, the dad is a sociable creature willing to accept cuddles and food from passers-by. As long as they don't step in front of the TV.
- They’re infamous for their really, really bad dancing.
No matter how hard the dad tries to choreograph his moves, as soon as their first-born arrives all hand eye co-ordination disappears and they are reduced to the flailing mess that is ‘dad dancing’. This phenomenon is unexplainable despite scientists’ efforts to find a cause and cure. Until then, we must carry on humouring their attempts to be ‘down with the kids’ and keep trying to teach them the Macarena.
- Dads are notoriously easy to buy presents for.
Any kind of shower gel, shaving equipment, and toiletries are an essential part of a father’s day package. Despite his love of grooming, the dad never buys his own products and relies on donations from offspring. When the dad isn't in the man cave, he’s in the car so of course he wants it to be filled with fresh décor, accessories and the latest gadgets…
- But despite their passion for technology, they never quite master gadgets.
Mainly because they throw the instructions in the bin along with the spare chargers.
- The same goes for trends.
The dad will attempt to imitate their young by participating in ‘selfies’ and trying to use ‘on fleek’ correctly. Instead they end up videoing themselves moaning about the camera’s selfie mode not working and saying everything is ‘up freak’. They post their ‘#ThrowbackThursdays’ of their flare-wearing-flower-child-hey-day on Wednesdays and think that Yoko Ono is their new BFF because they follow each other on Twitter. Let the dad think he is cool, just don’t tell him that Yoko Ono automatically follows everyone on Twitter.
- Their mortal enemy is the sat nav…
Which would work if they bothered to update it and keep the instructions. To everyone else, they’re a middle aged man shouting at a tiny box. To the dad, they’re on the front line of an epic battle between man and machine that prevents robots from taking over the universe. Their battle cries are heard for miles yet cannot be repeated due to their explicit nature.
- Dads are always bad influences in the best possible way.
They’ll let their young stay up until dawn, drinking Coca-cola and eating too many sweets then leaving them in the care of their mate, the mum. This often results in the usually calm mum species becoming enraged. A sociable creature like the dad, they gather at the local watering hole with other mums to vent their frustrations and consume vast quantities of grown-up drinks.
- They’re terrifying when angry… but not as scary as mums.
If there’s one thing the dad fears most, it’s the angry mum. Upon first sight, they dad returns to their territory – the sofa - for the evening until it is safe to venture out in to the world. This is usually at dinner time.
- When they reach a certain age, the socks-and-sandals-combo becomes their uniform.
Much to the embarrassment of the rest of the family.
- They always do the jobs no one else wants to do.
Mowing the lawn, getting rid of spiders, unclogging the pipes, climbing on the roof to clear the gutters… any gardening and outdoor jobs that requires dirt and creepy crawlies is the dad’s speciality.
- A dad’s secret weapon is usually called mum.
Because everyone knows that it’s mum who does the birthday and Christmas shopping. This is why the dad always looks so surprised when the kids open their presents. Despite the tag saying they’re from ‘mum + dad’ we all know he has no clue what each gift will be!
- They’re secretly really, really generous.
The dad is a weird species who puts on a tough front in public but is a total sweetheart deep down. They’ll hold their eldest’s hair back when they’ve accidentally-on-purpose drank too much on a night out, while telling them off for being irresponsible. They’ll always go downstairs and make their youngest a cup of tea… even when they ask for it at 3am. Most importantly they’ll endure endless viewings of ‘Frozen’ and they’ll totally crank up the volume when ‘Let It Go’ plays in the car. They’ll dress as a princess despite what the other dads might say and will end up chauffeuring the family to every concert pilgrimage. The dad will complain throughout these acts of kindness yet secretly, they enjoy every minute.
Want to get your dad something special for father’s day? Find your nearest store here for amazing offers and low prices on quality food, toiletries, car accessories, gardening and more!